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Etiquette to Fine Tune your Attitude

What is the difference between attitude and behavior?

Attitude & Behavior
• Attitude is the internal psychological kitchen.
• Attitude is the process of mixing external behaviors, with your positive or negative human elements
• Attitude is your perception to choose to function the positive or the negative elements
• Attitude is to choose either to receive in a positive thinking or negative thinking, then finally your behavior counts, which is your final resulted action, where people judge you by
• Attitude is where you behave pessimistically or optimistically
• Attitude is with which, you create your external Utopia or eternal Hell
• Behavior is the final behavior where people judge you with
• With your behavior, people see you by your eye, not their eyes
• Your behavior, is a kind of chain reaction, it is a matter of give and take
• Positive behavior, will get positive respond from people around you
• Negative behavior, you will take a negative respond
• Behavior is either words or actions

Examples of Different Attitudes & Behavior
• Add Life to Years (Positive Attitude)
• Add Years to Life (Negative Attitude)
• Do Things Right (Negative Attitude)
• Do Right Things (Positive Attitude)
• Hopeless End (Negative Attitude)
• Endless Hope (Positive Attitude)

So you are the person who is responsible to your actions, and words, and the result which you receive from behaviors of people around you.

If you are a positive person, all people around will behave positively to you

If you are a negative person, people will let go from you, as to avoid you, as a negative discouraging source.

If they continue dealing with you, they will behave negatively, as a kind of a chain reaction.

• If you respect people you will be then respected
• If you humiliate people consequently you will be then humiliated
• If you listen actively, you will be listened to
• If you reject people, you will be rejected
• If you accept, you will be accepted
• If you humiliate, you will be humiliated

How to Fine Tune your Attitude?
• Function your aggression to keep it positive
• Keep a positive thinking
• Function your stress and keep it positive
• Be assertive and never be aggressive nor submissive
• Do not judge people, nor position your self as an adviser or a God like figure
• Do not fish people doing something wrong, but fish them doing something right
• Do not over blame your self or scold your self, but think of what you can do, to change or develop
• Do not wait for others to change, but it is self initiatively
• Listen to yourself and others, and be broad minded
• Do not be an egoist
• Be optimistic and not pessimistic, “NO” is not in your dictionary
• Learn more, and love your experience, even if it is negative, as after the experience, you turn to be stronger
• Forgive is the only psychological tool, to continue living and not just surviving
• Use your leisure time in something beneficial and do not leave time to drop through your finger
• Make your sleep to a minimum as well as your food
• Read more, observe to the maximum, listen to the utmost and speak the minimum
• Be sociable and do not over socialize
• Be friendly but do not be over friendly
• Be humble and not arrogant
• Be an idiot for a moment rather than being an idiot the rest of your life
• Say “I do not know” and do not be “Know it all person”
• Avoid being sniper, whimper or a tank person
• Be open to criticism and feedback, as it is a good tool, to better your performance
• Mind your own business and do not mind the business of others
• Mind your pride and humanity as well as that of others
• Do not argue, better to discuss
• Be firm, but do not be blunt hearted
• Empathize and do not sympathize
• Keep a positive human perception, in receiving others
• Take two before you talk
• Speak your anger immediately and do not file or pile up
• Do not burst up easily, but control your self
• Speak your needs to people, as to know, how to help and when to offer their help
• Be a mini multi task person, as to feel multi achievements
• Do not analyze reasons of failure, but analyze factors of success
• Think always for the possible, never think of the impossible
• Think that as best is possible, better is impossible
• Never burn bridges with people, keep always human rapport
• Practice on the process of giving
• Do not expect nor assume, just do the right thing

How to be Assertive
• To be firm
• To know your goal
• To analyze your goal into simple goals
• Design a time action plan
• To stick to the time action plan
• Be ready with alternatives
• Find rooms to other things to get done parallel to your goal
• Do not be rude nor blunt
• Express your self
• Be able to phrase and paraphrase
• Simplify your message
• Avoid barriers of communication
• Know your needs
• Know your abilities
• Mind the capabilities
• Design alternative plans, in case of crises
• Be knowledgeable
• Never burn bridges with people
• Do not cut human relations, but if necessary just minimize
• Do not be sarcastic nor ironical
• Brain storm ideas with people
• Listen and be broad minded
• Be open to any new idea, think of it, absorb it and then evaluate, before action
• Do not accuse others
• Believe always that actions counts not intentions

How to be Submissive
• To think only of people and not yourself
• Never to say “No” and over load your self
• Never to delegate, or ask for support
• Never to speak your needs
• Always running out of time
• Never prioritize your tasks
• Never time manage
• Do not have a time action plan
• Do all things at a time
• Want always to please people, and not minding your own pleasure
• Too hard to your self
• Listen to people’s needs, and ignoring your own needs
• Never speak your pains
• Pretend to be or act like; a fighter
• Multi task person, without a designed time action plan
• Lack of knowledge and information
• Lack of having the “Tools and Know How”
• After quantity achievements, without thinking of the quality
• Never meet any dead lines
• Time easily drops through your fingers
• Think always of pleasing people, away from your self pleasure or satisfaction

How to be Aggressive
• Think always to revenge
• Blame others for your mistakes
• Fishing mistakes to all people around
• Do not think of self development, but of that people have to change
• Work on achieving actions, words etc. for people around, specially the negative, as to use them, against people
• Think of destructing people, as a sign or signal of showing anger
• Sarcastic attitude is domineering on all actions
• Treat people indifferently
• Give a bad mouthing easily about others
• Always pessimistic
• Evil, envious and hatred feeling and attitude towards people
• Believe that you are the best of the best
• Do not have team spirit and easily sabotage it, if it is already there
• Do not feel like cooperating, helping or giving hand to any body
• Feels that what people achieve, is by chance or bribing, and do not believe that it is a result of hard work
• Always busy by others, and minding their business
• Act sometimes like an interloper
• Selfish, egoist and self centered person
• Narrow and one track minded
• Not an active listener
• Easily obsessed with an idea
• Do not go deeply into words and actions
• Do not know how to minimize relations, only can cut off
• Not a professional conversationalist, applies cut off, cut prêt
• Not honest and easily tells lies
• Not clear, and vague person

Summary
• Fine tune your attitude, and this starts from IN to OUT
• Your behavior is a chain reaction
• Before pointing a finger forward, accusing some one, there are three fingers pointing back wards
• You Own the Problem
• You wrap up, your actions and words
• Use the four Rs:
• Respond promptly to others needs, as for people to respond swiftly to you
• Request help, information, and explanation, as to save time and efforts, to get quality results not quantity- “Be an Idiot for a moment, better than being an Idiot the rest of your life”
• Rephrasing is a skill, to facilitate communication, understanding and these lead to achievement
• Respect your self, as to be then respected by others

Try always to be:
==> Firm, strict and assertive, without being aggressive
==> Know what you Need and Want what you Have
==> Active listener as to be a professional conversationalist
==> An action person, as life counts actions not intentions

When you Dream:
• Prioritize your dreams
• Start with the simplest, upon your abilities and surrounded capabilities
• Work on your dream
• Share it with intimates
• Put an Time Action Plan to achieve your dream
• Be ready with alternative scenarios, and find a room out, when it turn to be difficult or sticky to achieve your dream
• Build rapport with people, to help you, if you need help
• When working on your dream, never outshine your master
• Tell your self, that sky is your limit
• Think of the tools and know how, to achieve your dream
• Always say, “As Best is Possible, Better is Impossible”